Saturday, July 31, 2010

On Coming Home

This from Lena:

The first thing almost all our friends ask us is, “How does it feel to be home?” In one sense, it is easy to answer. I cannot deny that on cold, dark Lima days (of which there are many), I often dream about Ohio summers, truly hot days that drive us to the neighborhood pool, being home with our family. It has been fabulous to be with all our old friends. We were quite established in our lives when we left to follow the Lord’s leading to Peru, and so there are many with whom we want to meet and catch up.

Still, there is a part of us that knows that we are going back, and there is a yellow caution light in our emotional wirings that lets us know that it is dangerous to care too much about WHICH new flooring to put down, how we decorate our old house, even warning us that connecting with all the things and people we love will make leaving home a lot like it was the first time we left….hard.

So, the house is looking good, and we are going about renewing our investment in it. The old girl was sorely in need of some repairs and maintenance, and we are doing all we can to get it done right. But it won’t get our hearts the way it did before. It is, after all, just a house. But about those friends and loved ones….

We just keep on loving them. With a number of my best girlfriends, I burst into tears when I first see them. It is like I was waiting until it was safe to release my feelings about needing to leave them in the first place, and this was the first time in four years that I could. And now things are complicated, because I have friends back in Lima who I am missing!

So how does it feel to be home?

Great! But home has started to morph into somewhere that doesn't exist in the earth, but does in my heart, where my dear friends and family both here and in Peru somehow meld together into one place, and I don't have to miss any of them. It is a place where I know I am called to work and love, and still can be with those I share so much history and have loved a long time.

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