Monday, March 15, 2010

The "D" word

I (Bill) just returned from the jungle. For the third time in a row, I've returned with a case of Montazuma's revenge. And this is no small case. It's the kind that leaves you totally drained, feeling like a wrung-out rag. I could have justified not going to church, but had missed the week prior and didn't want to miss two in a row. So, I took some medicine I like to call "Cork-it!" and went to church. I set in the chair without moving during the entire service. I had tried clapping during worship and realized quickly that that was a dangerous activity. After the service the pastor asked if I was unusually tired. I replied that I had a bad case of diarrhea. The pastor's wife explained to me that the word "diarrhea" is not used in polite Spanish, since it is a crude and discourteous word. The correct phrase is "I have a delicate stomach." So I said, "In that case, I have a delicate stomach and I'm going to explode!"

As it turns out, I did not get this illness from the jungle; rather, from the kids' school. Yesterday, we learned that school was cancelled for two days since 30% of the teachers called in sick. At least that many of the students are also sick, including our daughter Hannah.

It's time to send Lena back to the pharmacy. This is a job for "Cork-it Pro!"

(P.S. I usually put pictures in my blog entries. I opted out this time.)


Dave said...

Thanks for sparing us!

Anonymous said...

Awesome! i already saw the picures. I'm glad it all went well! :)

H.L. Hussmann - God's Greatest Passion Ministries said...

This is an example of why I always tell people you are the funniest person I know.